Mutually beneficial sex must be negotiated. During the first phase of our relationship, we may notice our similarities, but as we get to know each other better, we’ll naturally discover differences. These differences create conflict, with sex being a common source of this conflict.[i] Learning to successfully navigate conflict can provide important opportunities for discovering each other in deep and meaningful ways. Conflict resolution expert Emily Taylor explains five different approaches for resolving conflict in her book Conflict Fluent.[ii] While she relates these approaches to relationships in general, these ideas also apply to conflicts couples experience in their sexual relationships. The five conflict approaches are: avoiding, accommodating, compromising, competing, and collaborating. 

Some people may want to dismiss certain conflict styles as purely negative like avoiding and competing, or elevate other styles such as compromise and collaboration, but Taylor explains that each approach has pros and cons. Here’s how a couple may effectively adopt varying conflict styles in a sexual relationship…

I wrote this several years ago. You can check out the rest by clicking here.